Too Many Books

I've been reading a lot about adoption, and have started to wonder if these books will "help" me as much as all the relationship books did in preparing me for marriage.

This is an excerpt from Front Porch Tales By Phillip Gulley. I'm not even sure if I picked this up at the thrift store, someone left it at my house, or where I got it...but I'm getting some laughs out of it. :)


"Before our first child was born, my wife and I read several books about parenting. When Spencer arrived, we discovered just how useful those books can be, particularly for chewing on."

"[My mother] had just read a book about parenting and was eager to share her knowledge. Spencer, then two years old, threw a tantrum while mom was with us. I hadn't slept for two days, and after an hour of crying-mine, not his-I gave Spencer what he wanted. 'Boy, that was a mistake,' Mom warned. and she proceeded to tell me that if Spencer gets what he wants by throwing a fit, there's not telling where he'll end up. 'Probably in Congress,' I told her."

"She advised us to have baby Sam lie on his back to prevent crib death. But someone else said they should lie on their stomachs for the same reason. So to be safe, I built a rotisserie crib."

"The worst advice we received was from a man who told us that holding our baby would spoil him. Obviously, he didn't understand how babies require the intimacy that cuddling provides. Besides, cuddling babies is fun and almost makes up for what our children do to us as teenagers."

[When we give advice], "it isn't that we think we know more than the parents. It's mostly about lending a hand with something as neat as raising a child. it's the same principle behind planting a tree. Twenty years later, we come upon it and delight that we had a part in its growing."

Summit VI

We spent 2 jam packed days at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit VI this past weekend. You can see a blog of what went on at the official blog and see video clips. It was an honor to be among about 1300 people who care for orphans in one way or another.

I was reminded of Royal Family Kids Camp, a week away for foster kids to have a positive and loving mountaintop experience. I participated as a counselor in this camp out in California two summers in a row. Although only a week long experience, it's something I've never forgotten. My little camper, Jessica, gave me a stuffed bunny and told me never to forget her. Coming from a girl who had shown so much joy over a small shoebox full of goodies, I was deeply moved at her generosity. After the camp, I went directly to join my family on a bike trip in Seattle, and the last day we left the hotel in a hurry for the airport. Upon returning home, I was really sad to realize that my new bunny friend had been left. Mind you, I was about 21 at the time...so it was a little embarrassing for my dad to call the hotel and tell them that his daughter had left her stuffed bunny, but he took initiative on that for me. Before I knew it, bunny was back and continues to be my reminder to pray for little Jessica, who probably isn't so little anymore.

I learned about project 1.27 and 4 Kids, 2 remarkable programs to aid the church in responding to foster kids. When our very determined (aka anxious) Ruby dog escaped from our car Friday, it was 4 Kids founder Tom who found her hoping to come inside the church. It was fun to meet him as we had heard some encouraging stories from him in our breakout sessions.

Now that we have chosen an agency (Bethany), etc...we found out about Loving Shepherd Ministries, an organization that exists to help pre-adoptive couples in the decision process for no charge! They have list after list of stats and info to help you make decisions. They call themselves the Consumer Reports of Adoption. :)

Dr. Karyn Purvis shared some research about nurturing children who come from hard places. Simple yet profound, she drew many parallels of what happens naturally in a healthy pregnancy-2 years (attachment) and how you can make up for that. It was a lot about brain development, touch, and adoring the child...who was not adored as a baby but needs that. It was practical, and she discussed how often the behavior is not the real issue. Most of the time, these kids are scared, and that's why they act out. She recommended time ins where you help the child process and find a solution vs sending them away. Lots of good thoughts. I look forward to reading her book: The Connected Child.

To top it all off, we watched The Blind Side, a moving true story of a family who opened up their home to an older child from the projects.

Ick

Abuse within families, gang rape, coercion, fear tactics, ick. Sick. Orphans placed into foster care where they are abused again instead of having a safe haven. Ick. Girls with no place to call home, defenseless against the physical strength of men who want to take advantage. Children sent to the streets to work, beaten up when they come home penniless. Hungry. Where is the love? Where is the justice?

Prov. 23:10-11 Don't stealthily move back the boundary lines or cheat orphans out of their property, for they have a powerful Advocate who will go to bat for them.

Isaiah 58:6 "This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. 7 What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. 8 Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. 9 Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places "If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins, 10 If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight. 11 I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places - firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. 12 You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.